When we are talking with our girlfriends about guys, no one comes right out and say that I am going to sabotage my relationship. Most of us want to grow our relationship, so that it leads to true love and lasting happiness. Would you be surprised if I said there are countless women who without intent are sabotaging/blocking their own potential of having a long lasting relationship? Many women are putting out the spark before the fire is ignited.
Stop and think about the next three scenarios related to sabotaging relationships then ask yourself honestly: "Have I done that" or "Do I do that?" If you are still not sure, ask one of your girlfriends, hint here, not your girlfriend who will just agree with everything you say, but the one that tells it like it is.
After looking at yourself or talking to your girlfriend, and the answer is a maybe to any one of these scenarios, then it is time to rethink your approach, adjust your attitude, think outside the box, and take a leap of faith to potentially connect with Mr. Right.
#1. You’ve refused to go out with a guy because he didn’t fit your perfect picture or your checklist.
A guy asked you out, and you refused to go out with him because he did not have the items on your checklist or he did not fit your perfect image in your head of Mr. Right. You know the list I am talking about i.e. he has to be handsome, a certain height, drive a certain car, have money etc. At some point, most girls create a fantasy of their perfect man or about their Prince Charming riding on a horse and sweeping them off their feet.
Whether this is because we seen to many Cinderella Stories, or to many reality shows, but this image/fantasy is stuck in our head, so when a typical guy cross our path, the checklist is pulled out sometimes literally and figuratively to compare and contrast the man in front of us. However, a surprising number of those images/fantasies are unrealistic, and are based on superficiality or just outdated values.
Ladies, step away from the checklist, the man in our fantasies may not exist, but the man that is in front of us maybe able to connect with us, so that the fairy tale ending of walking into the sunset can occur.
#2. You’ve judged a guy based solely on looks, and ignored all the other great qualities
Ok, hit the "Y" key if you have done this. I have been guilty of this one, of judging a guy solely on looks, and ignoring the fact that he had other qualities and characteristics that I like to see in the man.
We see a guy from a distant at a party, and he looks ok, then when he approaches you see that he has pimples, or his teeth are not straight or he is dressed weird, but he is funny, sweet, and kind. We all know that great looks don't last, that is why the health and beauty industries reports over 6 billion dollars a year in profits.
Remember a man with a loving spirit, and kind heart goes a long way, then the one that has a Brad Pitt's face only. So be careful when looks are your only criteria.
#3. You have a pattern of getting into arguments with your significant other -- for no real reason.
Sometimes my girlfriends call me to tell me about their fight they just had with their significant other. When I ask what it was about, it is often for no real reason. One was about the darn toilet seat being left up and another about using guest's towels. This list goes on and on.
So for this one ladies, let's be honest and objective as you can, is the argument really about the toilet seat, or the guest's towel. Probably not, but a symptom of a bigger issue, but it is easier to fight/ague about the toilet seat then to address the real issue.
Often, we are placing transference on the current relationship based on past relationships or we are hurt about something that our partner did or did not do, but whatever the issue is it is rarely about the toilet seat.
As you go about your day, keep in mind that it takes two to tangle, and a good beginning helps to create long lasting sustainable relationship, so the fairytale has a happy ending.
What are your thoughts?
