The article was very interesting because my friend recently broke up with her boyfriend, and he continues to call and ask her out in hopes of getting back together or for a "booty call". My friend continues to avoid his calls or sends him a text/email vs. actually communicating her true feelings. I asked her why she just did not tell him frankly that she was not interested, and she explained that she did not want to hurt his feelings.
Hmmmm, interesting or is it just to feel desirable until the next person comes along.
Ladies, why do we say, "let's stay friends" when we generally do not want to continue any type of friendship/relationship.
The article explains the, "3 Good Reasons Why You Shouldn't Stay Friends"
1. It is hard to turn off romantic feelings
You see it in the paper every day. Someone throws away a prominent career because they have fallen in love (or lust) with someone they shouldn't. This person knows that it is a bad idea, but controlling our emotions in this way takes a discipline that most folks can't muster.
If you've ever been dumped, and agreed to "just be friends" you know deep down inside you still want to get back together. Even if you don't want to…you want to. Each time you get together as friends you're hoping and praying that you'll end up in each other's arms. You may even subtly be pushing things in that direction.
If you did the dumping, the knowledge that this person -- this new friend --would love to kiss you will always be in the back of your mind waiting for the right moment to lead you exactly where you don't want to go.
2. It's easy to get mixed messages
Friends do things for each other. They call when you're sick. They take you out when you've had a bad day. They give you a gift on your birthday. It is very easy to get mixed signals in the midst of all this kindness, love, and support. It's easy to wonder if feelings have changed. If there is some spark underneath all that effort. "Would she really come over and cook me dinner if she didn't love me and want to be with me?" you might ask.
Keeping it all straight can be a full-time job, and a single misinterpretation could lead to the backslide.
3. Hope springs eternal and you need to move on
In a situation where both people part ways and don't see each other again this can be a problem. Your memories may haunt you, and make it difficult to find someone new. But imagine the likelihood of this happening if you're still seeing the person regularly. You can't meet someone new because your old love is still in your life -- hanging around being your pal and reminding you how great they are.
One of the worst things that can happen to your dating life is getting hung up on someone who doesn't love you. You pine, and they move on. Each new person that comes your way and expresses interest is swiftly blown off, because you are desperately hoping you can rekindle the flame with your ex.
What are your thoughts?
The full article is here:
http://advice.eharmony.com/dating/important-questions/should-you-really-stay-friends-after-the-relationship-is-over
