Have you ever wondered why some couples describe their relationship as awesome and others describe their relationship as simply "it's alright?"After surveying my friends and family, the differences are minimal. The first thing that I discovered that most couples did not contribute their great relationships to hours of hard work. I was surprised by this response since that is what you usually hear when you talk to couples who have a great relationship. I found that it is small changes in attitude, connection, and behavior that can change a relationship from "so so" to awesome. Which lead me to my top two reasons that can assist you in taking your relationship from "so-so" to wow, awesome, spectacular and in the words of J.J from Good Times, Dynamite!
1. Unmet Needs/Unclear Expectations
I was surprised to learn that the main reason for break up is not communication issues, or conflicts nor physical incompatibility, but not fully understanding/addressing the other's needs. Most of the couples who have great relationships, expressed that their partner understood their needs, and that there were clear expectations of each other.
Whereas the couples in the "so-so" relationships often stated that their partner did not know them, or their needs were not being addressed. Example of this is one couple stated that she wanted more cuddling and affection time, and her partner felt that he was meeting her needs by not jumping out of bed right away after love making, and by snuggling during movie time. When I inquired if the couple shared their expectations? The response that I received was "No, but he should know what I like."
So one thing that will help your "so-so" relationship to be more spectacular is to share your expectations at least once a year, which will assist with more open, honest and direct communication.
2. Show and Tell Their Partner Some Love
The next big Ah moment was the women that are in a great relationship shared that they often showed, shared and expressed to their partner some form of love/connection continuously. The women shared that they let their partner know that he is appreciated, respected, honored, "the one" and loved. Surprisingly, these men who received genuine affirmations/love, shared that they often wanted to do more, help more, and spend more time with their partner because they knew that they were appreciated and loved for them with no strings attached.
So ladies, the next time your husband/partner does something nice i.e. cooking dinner, bringing your favorite treat home without you asking him to do so etc. make sure you let him know that you appreciate his efforts, and in time your relationship will go from "so-so" to great.
What tips do you have to keep your relationship from staying exciting, flourishing and wonderful?
