Part 1--Should You Really "Stay Friends" After The Relationship is Over?

I read this great article, "Should You Really "Stay Friends" After The Relationship is Over?" by eHarmony Staff.

The article was very interesting because my friend recently broke up with her boyfriend, and he continues to call and ask her out in hopes of getting back together or for a "booty call". My friend continues to avoid his calls or sends him a text/email vs. actually communicating her true feelings. I asked her why she just did not tell him frankly that she was not interested, and she explained that she did not want to hurt his feelings.

Hmmmm, interesting or is it just to feel desirable until the next person comes along.

Ladies, why do we say, "let's stay friends" when we generally do not want to continue any type of friendship/relationship.

The article explains the, "3 Good Reasons Why You Shouldn't Stay Friends"

1. It is hard to turn off romantic feelings
You see it in the paper every day. Someone throws away a prominent career because they have fallen in love (or lust) with someone they shouldn't. This person knows that it is a bad idea, but controlling our emotions in this way takes a discipline that most folks can't muster.

If you've ever been dumped, and agreed to "just be friends" you know deep down inside you still want to get back together. Even if you don't want to…you want to. Each time you get together as friends you're hoping and praying that you'll end up in each other's arms. You may even subtly be pushing things in that direction.

If you did the dumping, the knowledge that this person -- this new friend --would love to kiss you will always be in the back of your mind waiting for the right moment to lead you exactly where you don't want to go.

2. It's easy to get mixed messages
Friends do things for each other. They call when you're sick. They take you out when you've had a bad day. They give you a gift on your birthday. It is very easy to get mixed signals in the midst of all this kindness, love, and support. It's easy to wonder if feelings have changed. If there is some spark underneath all that effort. "Would she really come over and cook me dinner if she didn't love me and want to be with me?" you might ask.

Keeping it all straight can be a full-time job, and a single misinterpretation could lead to the backslide.
3. Hope springs eternal and you need to move on

In a situation where both people part ways and don't see each other again this can be a problem. Your memories may haunt you, and make it difficult to find someone new. But imagine the likelihood of this happening if you're still seeing the person regularly. You can't meet someone new because your old love is still in your life -- hanging around being your pal and reminding you how great they are.

One of the worst things that can happen to your dating life is getting hung up on someone who doesn't love you. You pine, and they move on. Each new person that comes your way and expresses interest is swiftly blown off, because you are desperately hoping you can rekindle the flame with your ex.


What are your thoughts?

The full article is here:

http://advice.eharmony.com/dating/important-questions/should-you-really-stay-friends-after-the-relationship-is-over

4 Great Places to Meet People (Other Than Bars)

Well I am not a bar hopper, so me meeting a cool person at a bar is very slim.  I thought about where men hangout and thought of these non-alcoholic spots that are conducive for meeting people for the following reasons:

• The surroundings provide subject matter and spark conversation
• They are quieter than bars so you can hear each other
• They bring people with common interests together

My top 4 places are:

Concerts/Shows/Plays

People gather before the show starts, and intermissions provide a little window to chat with people about the production. Then, at the end of the production, there's always time too.

Sporting Events/Casinos

If you like sports, then try a sporting bar, as there is plenty to talk about as people react to their team's performance, or wear sports apparel reflecting their team allegiance. Ladies, pls do not go to the sporting bar if you have no concept at all about sports. As the point is to go and have fun/relax and meeting new people.  

Book Stores/Cafes

Lots of people talk about books they are reading, even when someone approaches them and asks them about the book. Book stores surround us with conversation-starting items. You can even "select" someone based on what section they are browsing.

Classes

My friend Karen is taking bowling classes and tells me about all of the great people she's met in class. It can be any type of class  (cooking, yoga, dance, music, computers) is a great place to meet people. Any class you join will include people with similar interests. It's a low-pressure environment that encourages teamwork. And, even if you don't meet that special someone, you're still improving yourself.

Where do you like to meet people?

12 Myths to Ignore About Breast Cancer

What is real and what is a myth about Breast Cancer?

The article shares, "So many rumors and controversies surround breast cancer—what really causes it, what really prevents it—that it can be hard to know whom to believe. Just because a friend swears that wearing a bra can cause breast cancer doesn't mean it's true. And if you think that you're not at risk because there's no breast cancer in your family, you might be mistaken. The truth is that scientists still don't know what causes breast cancer—only that certain factors, such as obesity or drinking too much alcohol—may increase risk."

So check out the 12 myths that everyone should be aware of:

http://health.yahoo.net/rodale/PVN/12-myths-to-ignore-about-breast-cancer

5 Surprising Signs of Breast Cancer

Wow, so much to know about Breast Cancer. Here is another informative article about Breast Cancer
The article shares, "You've been told all your life to be on the alert for breast lumps, the primary sign of breast cancer. But a lump isn't always the first sign of malignancy, or it may not be the first change a woman notices, says Andrew Putnam, director of the Palliative Care Program at Lombardi Comprehensive Cancer Center and Georgetown University. "Sometimes a lump is deep in the breast tissue, or the tissue surrounding it is very dense, making it hard to feel," says Putnam. And inflammatory breast cancer causes another set of symptoms entirely. "So it's important to be on the alert for other red flags as well."

Check out these 5 Surprising Signs of Breast Cancer

http://health.yahoo.net/caring/5-surprising-signs-of-breast-cancer

Are you a Phenomenal Woman?

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I'm telling lies.

I say,

It's in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say,

It's the fire in my eyes,

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can't touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them

They say they still can't see.

I say,

It's in the arch of my back,

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed.

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It's in the click of my heels,

The bend of my hair,

The palm of my hand,

The need of my care,

'Cause I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Maya Angelou